you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
