Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
