its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Nicole vs. Life
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
