I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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