You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
