he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
