we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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