he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
