all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
