We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
