This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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