Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize