i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
