he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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