okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
