I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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