You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
