all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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