Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
