is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
