u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
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just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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