I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
