We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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