I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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