I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize