Me too!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
