if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
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