She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
