Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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