had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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