Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
