Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
