i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
