this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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