I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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