i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
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Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
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They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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