I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
