I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
