..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
farters have to be the big spoon...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
