I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
