Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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