Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
