ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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