so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
