Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
