i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
