if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
