Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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