do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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