i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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