I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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