perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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