mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
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you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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