after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
