There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
