I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize