Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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