Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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