i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
