If i come over, it means nothing
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
