hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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