Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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