so explain again why im purple
no
just come out here and I will go home with you...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
